January 31, 2007

Cognitive Developement

Creating a manualized cognitive restructuring program that is effective in helping people overcome faulty thinking errors and self defeating behaviors is an art form that few have mastered.

The question is, is it possible to go into the subconscious mind and actually change thoughts? The answer is yes and the secret lies in Dr David Hawken’s book on truth vs falsehoods. The truth has energy that can penetrate the veil of self imposed falsehoods and help people find the truth about themselves. That is, they are many times better than they think they are.

Developing a cognitive restructuring curriculum requires a deep understanding of the truth, otherwise the written words have no penetrating energy. In effect untrue words fall off the page and on the floor. There they die and disintegrate and are forgotten along with millions of other untrue words.

True words can lift people to a higher calibration whereas untrue words can depress. True words contain a higher intelligence that excites energies that resonate at a frequency that people will accept it. It is this cognitive disonance internalization that affects a change in faulty thinking.

For example after 30 years of working with domestic violence victims it is enlightening to sit in class and watch this self actualization process take place. Most abused women see themselves as $2.00 women where the truth is they are really an $8.00 or $10.00 woman.By the 3rd or 4th session of applying true words delivered through a correctly structured cognitive restructuring program, the truth begins to have its affect.
 

This reprogramming is manifested in their physical, mental and emotional exhilaration. The before and after manifestation for most are remarkable and permanent. However let us remember that cognitive restructuring counseling is an invitation to change, not a force, change is the responsibility of the client.The main reason counseling programs are ineffective is because they aren’t structured properly and they contain little penetrating truth. The reason is that the person(s) who wrote it lacked truth. People can go to psychotherapy for years and not change because the therapist is not aligned with the truth. Whereas the truth can have a permanent impact on people in a matter of hours, the truth is what it is.  

By Larry Lloyd, Lifeskills Counselor               See  www.accilifeskils.com  

January 23, 2007

Positive Thinking

Filed under: Critical Thinking, Behavior Modification, Self Help — Editor @ 4:33 pm

The single most compelling reason for negative thinking about self and others is self deception and living below 500 on the life scale.The life scale is a Measurement from 0 to1,000  People who live below 500 suffer from self defeating thoughts and behavior. Self deceived critical thinking people see life from the inside the box.

The problem with negative thinking self deceived people is they are not aware they are deceived. They can’t think they are wrong therefore everyone else must be wrong. They are deaf and blind to solutions or self improvement that would take them out of their box and live life above 500. Self deceived negative thinking people who live below 500 are pessimistic, fault finding, critical, detached, angry, controlling, provoking and always justifying their actions. Living with such people is a lose lose situation because being human, people will always have faults that negative people will focus on.

              See    www.accilifeskills.com

 

 

Behavior modification

Filed under: Self Help — Editor @ 3:49 pm

                                          

Most people have the physical skills to succeed, but many lack emotional or cognitive skills. When a person’s self esteem is increased their emotional IQ or EQ and willingness to make life changes also increases.

Cognitive Restructuring has the ability to go deep. It can help people suffering from the following problems.

  • Sadness                       * Phobias                                * Childhood abuse
  • Anxiety                        * Lack of goals                       * Criminal values
  • Loneliness                    * Lack of ambition                  * Broken relationships
  • Despair                        * Lack of hope                       * Procrastination
  • Fear                             * Illness                                  * Decision making
  • Worry                          * Compulsions                        * Self betrayal
  • Depression                   * Coping                                 * Hate/vengeance
  • Stress                           * Rejection                             * Self control
  • Anger                           * Self esteem                           * Insecurity
  • Prison/Jail                     * Divorce                                * Lack of empathy
  • Suicide                         * Grieving                                * Co dependency
  • Drug  addiction             * Peer pressure                       *  Failing grades
  • Alcohol addiction          * Delinquency                          * Eating disorders

The first and most important step to overcoming the above problems and the biggest hurdel to self emprovment is self deception. People who live in the box of self deception are always blaming others for their problems. People fail to realize the biggest problem they have in life is themselfes. If you are not happy and succesful It is your fault? The following six steps are a must for self improvment. There are no shortcuts and they must be done in order. The single most effective tool to help people leave the old destructive behaviors is Manulazied Cognitive Restructuring . Cognitive restructirng has the ability to help people overcome faultiy thinking errors and behaviors.By Larry Lloyd ,Lifeskills Counsler                See www.accilifeskills.com                                     Self-Awareness
Changing Criminals
 
One of the main psychological differences between humans and animals is that humans have the ability to be self aware. That is, they can step back from themselves, see and accept their faults and shortcomings. Because of self-awareness, humans have the ability to improve and change their lives.Changing habits, thoughts, values, attitudes and behavior are not easy. For example, if you want to change a hard-core criminal into a good citizen the change would have to come from within. Criminals would have to accept responsibility for their behavior. As long as they stay in denial they can never change.To be successful with criminal offenders, you must first make them self aware. This “making them aware process” is called reality therapy. You can’t force people to change but you can force them to be self-aware. Self-awareness is the first step in changing criminal offenders into good citizens. Observe the following steps necessary to change. There are no shortcuts.

Not automatic-takes conscious effort ————————————————————
Automatic
                                 Want To
How To
What To
Change
Step #1
#2
#3
#4
#5
#6
AWARENESS
Self-awareness is
the first step in
changing who you
are. You must accept       your faults. You can’t change who you are without becoming self-aware.
DESIRE
If  you don’t want  To change, you won’t. You have free will and cannot be forced. You have freedom to choose. It is up to you; it is your choice. No desire, no change.
ATTITUDE
If you are aware of  Your faults and want to change you will automatically elevate your attitude has to come from within. It’s your choice.
SKILL
Self-awareness,        Desire and a positive attitude are not enough; you must also develop the skills and knowledge of                        how to change, wanting to is not enough.
BEHAVIOR
Master steps 1-4       and you are ready physically to do what is necessary. Do it for 90 days and it will a habit.            Do it for a year and it will become part of  you.
SUBCONCIOUS
Once you get a habit       Into your subcon-scious, it becomes automatic. You don’t have to think about it any more; you have changed.            Great! Congratulations.

If you keep on doing what you have been doing, you will keep on getting what you have been getting. If you want to change what you have been getting, you must change what you have been doing. The first step in changing what you are is to overcome denial, bad scripting and distorted thinking… This can only be accomplished by the above six-steps to change.
 
   

  

 

 

 

 

January 18, 2007

Cognitive Truisms

Filed under: Cognitive Restructuring, Self Help — Editor @ 4:12 pm

  • If you keep on doing what you have been doing; you will keep on getting what you have been getting. To change what you have been getting; you must change what you have been doing.

  • Life is short. The average healthy person will only live 800 to 900 months or about 600,000 hours. It isn’t birth or death that is important, but what happens in between.

  • The subconscious mind doesn’t know right from wrong. It is simply a tape that plays back that which has been programmed into it. To change subconscious thoughts and values requires a six-step process.

  • Much of what we are today was scripted while we were young. Scripting whether good or bad, is passed down from one generation to another. Some relatives who are now dead are still having a powerful influence on personal lives and values.

  • Offenders have a choice about their own children and others. They can be blockers and reduce the wrong done to them, they can stay neutral and pass on what happened to them or they can be magnifiers and make things worse. The message is that they can stand between the past and the future and rewrite their future. They can affect their posterity in a negative or positive way. It is their choice.

  • If a person is seen acting in a negative or self destructive way, lift his/her lid and look underneath to see a person who is hurting. And, under that will be found usually a worthwhile person.

  • One can determine right from wrong by what it produces. There is no true happiness in doing wrong. One can chose to do wrong, but one can’t choose the consequences.

  • There are 6 basic emotional needs that people must have in their lives. Those who don’t have their needs met become emotionally damaged or handicapped. However, they can overcome their emotional handicaps by forgiving others and going on with their life. Life can move forward when the past is released.

  • Life can be unfair. Bad things can happen to good people.

  • People generally treat others as they are. If people don’t trust you, it is because you are not trustworthy. If people don’t believe you it is because you lie. If People don’t respect you, it is because you don’t keep your word. If people are afraid of you, It is because you are mean. If you go back to prison, It is because you are a criminal.

  • Anger is a secondary emotion caused by primary emotions caused by one or more of the four basic sources. Those who anger us control us.

  • The most important thing in a marriage is the people in the marriage. If a couple wants to improve there marriage, then they have to improve themselves.
  • Proper communications first requires seeking to be understood and then seeking to understand.
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  • When choosing to do wrong, one empowers others and circumstances to control his/her life.
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  • Doing wrong will ensure that life will not get better. Offenders will have to suffer the consequences of their bad decisions.
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  • Many people with bad beginnings will have bad endings. Their past will equal their future unless they do something in between to alter it.
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  • Who we are is what we do. What we do is who we are. We can’t hide who we are, eventually we will give ourselves away by what we do. Our long-term behavior is a direct indication of our values and who we are. What we do gives us away.
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  • You can tell right from wrong by what it produces. Good people mostly produce good actions, bad people mostly bad actions. A person can’t be good and bad at the same time. They are one or the other.
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  • Emotionally damaged people are many times better than they “think” they are. They have brought into lies about themselves and have been programmed into believing the untruth about themselves. If they don’t become self aware and have a desire to change they will keep on getting what they have been getting.
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  • There area certain basic laws or needs that are so essential that we must have the to be a whole person. We cannot break thee laws; we can only break ourselves against them. These laws are love, validation, affirmation, understanding, appreciation and security. To the degree these are missing in our life, we become damaged people.
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  • Once damaged, always damaged. However, emotionally damaged people from abusive, dysfunctional homes can overcome their handicaps and be getter for it. People who have to overcome their abuse are more sensitive and can assist in healing others.
  • Life isn’t always fair. Bad things happened to good people. It isn’t life that causes our problems, but our reactions to it. Mistakes can be forgiven, emotional scars can be healed. Life isn’t over until it isn’t over. Each new day brings an opportunity for change
  • The above are cognitive restructuring thoughts used in manualized cognitive lifeskills workbooks to help change distorted thinking and self defeating behaviors.

      

                                   By Larry Lloyd, Lifeskills Counselor      See  www.accilifeskills.com

     

     

     

     

 

 

 

© 2007 by Freedom Works, Inc. All Rights Reserved