Violence
To understand violence and the anger that pushes it, one has to understand the four basic root causes of anger. But even deeper than that, one has to go to the deepest sense of who we are, our personal way of being
There are two ways to be; one is responsive and the other is resistant. A responsive person is more open and kind; whereas, a resistant person is more closed and mean. Resistant, self deceived offenders commit violence from the deepest sense of who they are.
- Resistant people commit violence in their hearts long before their hands do.
- The sign of violence is not a hit, but a way of being.
- Violence is a choice; it is not merely an act, but a way of being.
- Nonviolence, like violence, is deeper than behavior.
- Self deceived violent people detach themselves from the feelings of others.
- In the resistant way of being, “I violate others by marginalizing their reality and reducing them to an object. In doing so, I elevate myself.”
- In the resistant way of being, “I batter for control without mercy or compassion.”
- In violating my children, I destroy future generations.
- “When I violate others, I produce a violence in them that justifies me in violating them.”
- In the resistant way of being, “I invite problems into my life, not solutions.
- In the violent way of being, “I portray myself in ways that justify me and makes the wrong I do seem right.”
- In the resistant way of being, “I impede the flow of life’s light and energy. I repel others and live a life filled with self.”
- Violence springs from the very essence of who I am, and who I am destroys me.
Violence in a society is brought on by the way of being of its citizenry. To intervene in violent behavior, a person must change from a resistive person to a responsive person. That requires a change of being.
Any program that doesn’t approach people at the deepest level is doomed to failure. Behavior modification and other anger management techniques are just surface fixes that don’t penetrate deep enough to make lasting changes. Cognitive restructuring, if done correctly, is a proven intervention that allows individuals to become “self aware” and thus more willing to change their personal way of being. Cognitive restructuring isn’t a force but an invitation to change. It intervenes at the deepest level where changes can take place.